Awake again. This time with nesting fury.

I can't sleep. I get up for my first pee of the night and that's that. No more sleep for Mommy-to-be. Sigh. Sometimes my hypnobirthing relaxation recording helps. Not tonight. I have a couple of other tricks up my naked sleeve for encouraging more shut-eye, but I just didn't have the patience tonight. Thanks to my clenched up jaw, I realized quite quickly that I am preoccupied with nesting.

Well, it is more than nesting. I'm preoccupied with getting my freaking house back into a vague semblance of order. Every time a room gets tidied up, it gets cluttered up with crap from another room that is undergoing a 'transformation'. A couple of weeks ago the nursery had a crib and some hastily stored baby related items in it. Now it is a mess of coats from our hallway (recently painted), painters' equipment (don't ask me why they think this room is their personal storage unit), the vacuum cleaner (needed for the entire upper floor post-painting clean up job), washed and unfolded hand-me-down baby clothes (2 laundry bins full :) !!), our bathroom supplies and medicine cabinet (recently mudded, sanded, and painted), baby gifts, unhung blinds, unhung curtains, clothing from the master bedroom (where a closet was just installed), and goodness knows what else that I can't remember.

My head is spinning. I can't get the now unneeded dresser from the master bedroom into the nursery, where it is needed, until the crap gets sorted and taken out of the nursery. Can I take all of our coats back downstairs to our hallway hooks? Will they be a nuisance to our contractor who is still working on our main floor? Will they get covered in saw dust? Do I vacuum first, or sort coats first? Do any of the coats need to be laundered?

Oh! I forgot! I can't move the dresser out of the master bedroom, until I move our old, 'temporary' linen cupboard out of its path. I can't move the linen cupboard out of the way and into our old clothing closet (upper hallway closet) until I remove the box of toiletries out of the closet and vacuum out the closet. I can't bend down to move the box because my belly is too big and I can't nudge it with my feet because this motion makes my crotch scream at me. When you are pregnant you quickly learn how all of your joints, ligaments, muscles, and bones are connected and work together to help you do the simplest of tasks... or hinder you from doing the simplest of tasks.

And, I wish I could do some of these chores when I have the freakin' energy at 3am! But, this would disturb Hubby and neighbours. I did manage to tidy up the dining room table and half of the coffee table before writing this entry.

I can't do all the things I used to do in one day or one weekend anymore. Yesterday I managed to get to a yarn sale in the morning after doing the dishes. The sale took up the entire morning because I walk slowly now AND I was careful to pare down my yarn pickings before cashing out. I came home and did one load of laundry and ate some lunch (lovingly prepared by Hubby). The closet installers arrived, so I took a break and sat on the couch with some knitting. Post-closet installation, I sorted and transferred clothing from the upper hall closet into the new closet. By 3pm I was spent! Achy and tired. More couch sitting. Ate dinner (thanks, Hubby!). Made dessert. Ate dessert. Did dishes. Ate dessert again. Watched The Cole Miner's Daughter on TVO. Went to bed. Woke up at 2:30am, which brings us to the present.

little down

I'm feeling a little bit down tonight. Nothing is really wrong, but a couple of things in my life are a tad bit 'off' right now. That little bit 'off' makes it difficult to sleep. Lack of sleep makes it harder to get through the day.

I miss Hubby. He's very stressed right now and I'm worried about him. I feel helpless. There is nothing I can actually do to help him with the problem he is facing. I can only listen and support.

Maybe a little pottery class therapy will give me a boost.

Cellophane

I notice when I am being too transparent. I notice it right in the moment when I am saying the words that I should just not say. I hate it. Immediately after the words have left my lips I want to grab them all back. I want to be more clothed. I enjoy being nude; I don't enjoy being naked.

As I get older, I feel like there are more things in life to hold precious, to keep close. I haven't had a lot of practice at that. I know how to change habits. I explain to people everyday how to change habits. I've done it in my life before. I want to change this habit of being a piece of cellophane.

Less cellophane.

More clothing.

Habit changing commencing.

Old recipe is good comfort food

I felt a little blue off and on today. If I don't feed myself properly, my blues always get the best of me for a few hours. So, before leaving work today I put my food-thinking cap on and focused myself on nourishing myself tonight.

Great Hubby usually does the cooking around here. He had lots of practice making delicious food from almost nothing in fridge in his previous incarnation as a starving artist and short order cook. Since his television show has taken off, Hubby has had less and less time for nourishing the Good Wife. I am not complaining, just admitting that I am out of practice and a wee bit lazy in the food department.

I thought I would make a simple shrimp salad that I found on Epicurious.com. On my way to the fish monger it occurred to me that I used to have quite a few delicious and easy recipes that I prepared for myself all those years ago. A specific recipe jumped into my mind - White Bean Pasta Sauce. Incredibly, the ingredients came to mind right away and I was able to pick up a few required items at the No Frills.

I am now a happy gal with a tummy full of yummy pasta with white bean sauce. I'm not blue and I'm not hungry.

Sushi Hubby cure

I had a bad day. Crying episodes involved.

My hubby took me out for sushi.

I love sushi.

I love Hubby.

Sushi and Hubby make bad day better.