No wax it

Since Spring seems to finally have sprung, I decided I'd better get the fur off my legs. It wasn't enough that three weeks ago Hubby rubbed his foot down my shin, as we cuddled in bed, and asked me if I was wearing socks. He almost peed himself right there in bed when I indignantly replied, "NO! That's my leg hair! Humph!"

I made an appointment at my local pedicure/manicure/kids haircutting combo shop for the end of the work week. It's a little dumpy, but they're friendly and the price is right. When I go there I try not to think too much about the industry standards for sterile equipment.

Anyway, I hop up on the table in my undies and t-shirt ready for the leg wax. There's a bruise on my left knee - all purple and green - and a raw quarter size scrape just above it. (A couple of nights ago I tripped on a cement pad near one of those lovely almost dead city sidewalk trees. Major body skid. Knocked the wind out of me.) The whole knee is looking quite ugly.

She's making her way down my left leg and I can't believe it when she swipes the wax over the scrape! I know what's coming next and before I can even protest she presses the cloth strip on it and RIIIIIIIIIPS! FUUUUUUUUUUCK! The scrape starts bleeding and oozing immediately. I don't know what to do; my wax is only a 1/4 finished and there's an obvious imbalance of power since I'm laying there in my undies and she's got the hot wax.

Before I know it she's going after it AGAIN! This time I react, but she says, 'Oh, no. I didn't get it. No wax it. That would hurt you bad. No wax on it. Just around it.' Does she think I can't see?! I mean, I do only have one eye, but the other one works fine! I mumble something like, 'Oh. From this angle it looks like there's wax on it.' Does she think the scrape just spontaneously bleeds and oozes?!

Current status of knee scrape: stinging and oozy, sticking to everything that touches it. Ouch! Hubby is getting some serious sadistic thrills from sneaking touches when I'm not looking. Bad boy!

For a laugh like you have never laughed before, check out this related story from The Best of Craigslist! Women may related more than men.